OLD TWEETS iii
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i know its pronounced mario but im still gonna say mario
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) January 20, 2019
Imagine how that one friend feels who texted Kanye some philosophical shit and not getting the “can I tweet this?” reply
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 20, 2018
A Wal Mart greeter just shook my hand as I arrived. So yeah, things have been going pretty well for me
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 25, 2018
I like that song where Dua Lipa is singing from the perspective from Bill Maher
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 12, 2018
When @kanyewest said "ba-ba-ba-ba brrrat-tat-da-da-da, da ga-ga-ga-ga brrra-ah-da-da-da, brra-ah-da-da-da brra-ah-da-da-da brrra-ah-da-da-da brr-ah-brrr-ah, brrr-ah-ga-grrrat ru-ru-ru-ru-woo" i felt that.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) June 14, 2018
It’s crazy that every major New York City tragedy has been named after the number 9: the 9th Ave Derailment, 9/11, Tekashi 6ix9ine.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) April 16, 2018
@13ReasonsWhy @dylanminnette @netflix @jayasherguy @selenagomez care to comment?
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) May 20, 2017
Happy belated birthday, Britney Spears #LegendsNeverDie also happy birthday mom
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) December 3, 2016
Halloween Pro Tip: your costume is a lot less cool than you think it is
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 31, 2016
@pokemon hey i tried your new game but i think it accidentally made me exercise. is this bug going to be fixed in the update?
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) July 12, 2016
Why does that Take Me Out To The Ball Game song say "buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks"?? Peanuts come in cracker jacks bags, assholes!
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) April 6, 2016
You know your school is liberal when 40% of the classes you take require you to remove your shoes before entering the classroom
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) March 21, 2016
@fullerhouse where's Urkle?
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) February 28, 2016
Hair enthusiasts are such elitists. Blond and brunette? Why can't we just call it what it really is: yellow and brown
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) January 24, 2016
It must suck to be gluten free and Italian
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) January 6, 2016
@helpmeundies excuse me I tried your product and now they are covered in shit!
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) October 3, 2018
Kinda fucked that people are burning their Nikes. Those little girls in China worked hard on making that! #ChecksOverRights
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) September 6, 2018
The best part of o-week is seeing everyone’s handsome new haircuts
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 19, 2018
Me: if you remember tamagotchi then you should qualify for a veteran’s discount
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 6, 2018
Vietnam vet: that’s fine can u just hand me the lotion for my leg stumps
IHOP: we're changing our name to international house of breakfast because we want people to see us as more than just a pancake place
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) June 8, 2018
also IHOP: pic.twitter.com/YN8RjcFlfk
Nope!
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) February 20, 2018
T-Pain's name is much less sick once you realize the T stands for testicular
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) March 14, 2017
Death is easier to accept if you think of it less as the end of your life and more as you becoming really good at the mannequin challenge
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) November 21, 2016
Usain Bolt just smoked De Grasse, which isn't saying much since he is Jamaican
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) August 15, 2016
The real horror of the annual purge is that they're literally making one of these movies every year
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) June 4, 2016
but you also miss 0% of the shots you don't take so it kinda goes both ways, Wayne
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) May 1, 2016
@iamjohnoliver @LastWeekTonight i have a research paper due in a week can you help me out for $?
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) April 5, 2016
🍀Happy Sorority Girls Wearing Boston Celtics Jerseys Day!🍀
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) March 18, 2016
It's such a bad idea to drunk text because honestly I should be watching the road instead
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) March 9, 2016
"Look! My family can afford to feed me!"- Everyone who posts pictures of food on Instagram
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) January 17, 2016
@neiltyson then explain why i always cry afterwards, Neil? i'm not extinct.
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) March 14, 2016
paleontologists predict that in 65 billion years dinosaur movies will be extinct
— Ryan Delouya (@RyanDelouya) February 10, 2016